What are the differences between a true, strong friendship and a temporary one?
What qualities make one person a real friend, a friend we can’t imagine our life without? We often become friends with someone because we have a lot in common. We have shared interests, a similar sense of humor, or a common background.
These things are important, but are not enough to build a deep-rooted, long-lasting, and strong friendship. They are actually meaningless if that person, called our true friend, hurts us so bad. Something is definitely missing, and we have to reflect deeply and to find the reasons of the pain we feel inside. If we want to form a strong friendship with someone, we have to make an effort to build it on firm pillars that will keep its stability and balance.
Here are eleven signs you have a strong friendship that will last a lifetime:
1. You support each other through the ups and downs
You have a real friendship only with a person who is besides you through all of your ups and downs – the grief, the joy, the success, the failures and everything between. Also, your relationship doesn’t depend on your hardships, your bank accounts, your promotion at work, or the other people you’re surrounded with. You’re together no matter what happens, you stick with each other when things get hard, as well as celebrate your happy moments. You are friends because you really want to be.
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2. You solve your problems together, without involving other people
Trust, confidence and honesty are your greatest virtues. If you have any problems between you, you’ll come directly to each other instead of talking behind each other’s back about that. Don’t allow yourself to involve a third person in your problems, because it’ll make things worse. So, talk to each other about the issue – a conversation between you two is the best way to solve the problem that occurred.
By doing this you both show that you respect your relationship and take care of it.
3. You respect the differences between you
Although you are aware that you have different background, education and raising, you still accept those differences, because they are the ones that make a perfect balance in your friendship and strengthen it even more. Those differences make you truly understand your current behavior, and make you to value and respect each other, without imposing your mindset on the other.
4. You accept each other’s flaws
We all have flaws. Real friends recognize them and point them out in a mindful manner. When you do or say something inappropriate, you don’t hesitate to advise each other about it, because you care for one another. And if you deeply care for each other, you won’t let the other person to do something stupid which will hurt them, and make them regret in the future.
Correcting your mistakes is just a proof that you don’t want to let the others see your shortcomings and to hurt your feelings. Honesty sets strong friendship apart from the weaker one. People who are open-minded are some of the most important types of friends to have.
5. You want the best for each other
Some of the biggest treats to your friendship are envy and jealousy, and you are both perfectly aware of that. You’re sincerely happy for each other’s success and development in every aspect of your life: career, money, travel, or family. You see each other’s success and happiness as your own. A strong friendship is the one where friends keep their fingers crossed for each other and do whatever they are able to do in order to help the other person achieve their biggest dreams.
6. You make each other accept yourself as you are
Sometimes we criticize ourselves a lot, especially when we face failures. For example, it can be a terrible job interview, a break up, a weight gain, or something else which makes us vulnerable. These circumstances have a bad impact on our self-confidence. True friends are here to lift us up when we’re down, to boost our self-esteem, and to help us accept ourselves. In turn, helping out a good friend can help you feel better about yourself as well.
7. You carefully listen to each other
I guess you’ve been in a situation when the person you’re speaking to interrupts you all the time, and turns the topic back to them. If you feel like you are always the one listening to your friend’s complaints, then your friend doesn’t pay you enough attention. Conversations with true friends aren’t one-sided. They are good listeners who validate other people’s feelings. A really good friend will listen even if you don’t have anything interesting to say and it’s on you to return the favor and never try to abuse this quality. True friends listen carefully, with no need to give advice, because sometimes all you need is for someone to shut up and listen.
8. You make time for each other
As time goes on you’ll have more and more responsibilities: work, marriage, children, and will become more unavailable. No matter how dynamic your life is, you need to make time to see your friends, because you’ll lose touch over time. True friends don’t let life interrupt their friendship. They always find time to see their best friend, because their friendship has become a priority. Real friends will always make time for each other, because they appreciate and value the time they spend together. If they can’t find the time to hang out or talk on the phone, then why are they still called friends?
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9. You are able to forgive
As human beings we all make mistakes, we all hurt someone else, including our best friend, even if it’s unintentionally. When conflicts come up, real friends have the courage to face them, and to understand the reason of its occurrence. The greatest thing a true friend possesses is the ability to understand, and therefore to forgive a friend who hurt them.
10. You are present in the moment for each other
Presence is the greatest gift any friend could ever give. True friends are always present in the moment by paying attention to each other’s needs. You can rely on the other person, and find a support every time you need it. Appreciate the people who focus on you, because they are really hard to find.
11. You inspire each other to be better versions of yourselves
Your friend doesn’t have to agree with everything you’re doing, but your friendship should make you feel important, needed, indispensable and good about who you are as a person. Real friends make us want to be better versions of ourselves. The kindness and care they are giving help us bring out the best in us. They give us the freedom to be ourselves, to express ourselves, to change and grow.
Follow your instinct to build a deep-rooted and strong friendship
True friends aren’t easy to find, but that doesn’t mean you need to give up and settle for someone who doesn’t treat you right. Try to build your friendship on the right pillars, and it will grow, getting stronger and stronger. Otherwise, you’ll easily disappoint from all the people you’re surrounded with, feeling miserable and worthless. Let these eleven signs be your guidelines, and if you notice someone doing the opposite of these signs, they’ll probably hurt you sooner or later. If something doesn’t feel right, it definitely isn’t. You, as every other human being, deserve to be in a good company, without getting hurt by the people you care about. Enjoy the importance and the value of true and strong friendship.
So, how many true friends do you have?
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